2014. It's been real.
I cannot believe tomorrow will be the first day of 2015. Looking back on 2014 it has been a bit of a crazy year (I think I say that every year haha). But really, I attended my record amount of Twenty One Pilots concerts (huge accomplishment, I know) worked a new job, lived in a new town, met some fresh faces, celebrated new marriages, moved back to the beach, had an awesome summer, and fell in love. I would say 2014 had its perks. Yes, this year has also had many hard times...but I never can look back at life and wish something had gone differently. God makes me stronger through every moment in life.
After reading over my end of the year post for 2013 I realize I still have many of the same struggles. This is frustrating to me. How have I gone a whole year with what seems like little heart change?? I know I cannot measure all of my success according to outward proof. I've definitely had some pruning done in my heart this year. I will admit I have spent a good amount of time in 2014 being mad at God. You should have talked to me when I was in Chapel Hill looking for a job after I found one I hated. You also could have talked to me when I was going through the phase of being mad at hypocritical Christians (aka myself). Or over the past few months during my crying fits where I pretty much yelled at God for being unfair and not seeing what I was going through (yes, this really happened). These emotional moments remind me that I am a child in His eyes. I'm now trying to accept that I am loved as His daughter.
Yes, I am one of those people who is extra chipper on New Years Eve. Sorry if they annoy you...but come on! How exciting that in a few hours a whole new year will be upon us. A new year that will offer so many adventures and moments that help define who you are. Even though I'm a planner, there is something refreshing about the unknown. Who knows...maybe the unknown this year is all of my plans staying on track (HAAA). Anyway, I have some dreams that I hope come true this year.
I am starting my new year off with another fast. I have come up with the perfect item to fast. Coffee. Yes, my best friend coffee. My friend coffee who I look forward to spending time with every day. My friend coffee who goes perfectly with reading a book or writing. My friend coffee...you will be missed. Okay, I'm dramatic. I will be participating in my church's beginning of the year fast which last 21 days. Of course I have big hopes for this fast. My biggest hope is to mend my relationship with God. I can't be mad at him anymore. Even though I'm mad I still see His goodness everyday (it's a strange thing). I hope to give my fearful heart to Him...and I have no idea how that will happen. Fasting is creating space in your life to hear and see the Holy Spirit move. It is giving of yourself to a God who is so much greater than any item you could give up. I am not doing this as an,"oh, look at me suffering through each day with a caffeine headache." I am doing it because there is nothing that means as much to me as God. There is nothing I wouldn't give up to get to know Him more. There is nothing that brings as much purpose and strength to my life as He does. A lot of the time I am just not listening. I hope to give Him my full attention during this fast. Here God, you can have my coffee for 21 days...
So, I will be giving up coffee and giving the money I would spend on a daily coffee to a friend on a mission. Jenna, my sweet treasure of a friend, will be heading out on an awesome adventure riding her bike from Providence, RI to Seattle with an organization that helps fund affordable housing groups. If you would like to help her in this process click the link here and donate! Seriously, if you only give like $5 dollars it would make her day. http://bikeandbuild.org/rider/7992.
I am expecting big things in 2015. I'm sure so many things that I never thought or dreamed will happen this year. God has a way of keeping us on our toes. I pray that this year I will focus less on myself. I hope to learn more about the life of Jesus, and to put that knowledge into actual practice. Here is a lovely quote on my hope and prayer for the church in the coming year... "The fertile soil of death is where the gospel forms roots and actually bears fruit. We have to die to live; we have to die so others can live. It almost sounds like Jesus' mission. This is the church He was willing to die for, a Bride that inspires and changes the world. This vision is worthy of radical obedience. Don't give up on the church. There is hope for her yet."--Jen Hatmaker
If you are reading this I hope you have made a goal for the new year. I hope that you see there is always something that can be created and pursued in order to make our world a better place. I am asking that you would cut yourself a little slack though. Some days you will fail. Some days will seem to have little purpose in the timeline of your huge dream. But remember, even that lazy day will matter. I pray in those moments you remember to breathe. Every breath gets you one step closer to the finish line.
Please say a prayer for me! This barista will need it. With this I am welcoming 2015.
Let's have an adventure. And a coffee date in 21 days....
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