So, tonight I'm at church and I am praying for the Lord to speak directly to me using scripture or a person. I have done this before and the Lord has spoken. I do not always do this...and sometimes I feel needy when I'm asking the Lord for this type of specific answer. But as His child I love to come to Him for guidance. I asked Him to speak a specific chapter of scripture as an answer to a question. The cool thing was He answered...but not with the scripture I prayed about. Wow, God answering me His way instead of in my own fashion? (sarcasm) A girl handed me a piece of paper with Psalm 91:11-12 written on it, "For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. They will hold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone." The Lord speaks and He provides rest to my weary heart. This Psalm has been brought to my attention a few times over the last few months...either in sermons or by friends. It is neat that we can read something and think we understand it all, but God knows when a lesson hasn't yet been learned. It delivers peace to my heart to know the Lord is with me wherever I go. Not that I know where I am going...but I'm beginning to learn a little about freedom in the Lord.
I think the thing that scares me the most about identifying a calling or plan for my life is that my selfish heart could be making the shots. Or maybe, one day I will wake up and hate where I chose to live or work. This is why I want a specific call from God, because with everything else I am so fickle. The last thing I want to do is to make a rash decision about where the Lord is leading me. It is comforting to know that the Lord will always be there to rescue me--Psalm 91:14-16.
I feel like I learn the same lesson a million times. This points to how I turn from God and try to come up with my own solutions to problems. I am learning that it is never a bad thing to continuously seek guidance and encouragement from the Lord. He did create me. He loves me unconditionally. He likes to hear from me....and to personally speak to me. I pray to live a life that glorifies Him.
"I do not know why I would go
In front of you and hide my soul
Cause you're the only one who knows it,
Yeah you're the only one who knows it" --Twenty One Pilots
Those lyrics have been in my head all week. Only the Lord knows me best. He has created me with unique gifts that I have the privilege to use in service to Him. Maybe the when and where are not the biggest questions? I'm thanking God that He has created me to thrive in some part of this broken world. Thriving off of His love and guidance and not worldly passions...but being sent into a place where I can "fan into flames the spiritual gift" God has given me (2 Tim. 1:6-7).
Lindsey, don't you see? God has called you. To be in the moment. Honey, that grand and glorious "calling" that you're looking for is sometimes right in front of your face, but we look for the big grabd fullfilment and miss the perfection of what is going on in the here and now.
ReplyDeleteLook at what's going on in your life right now. See how your steps are ordered from above. Look at the things like our bible study group- your groups of friends around here. The conversations you have with friends from a distance. Lindsey, God is always using you whether you are aware of it or not- because through you flows his spirit. It never stops just because we forget, but when we are not aware, what we can do is hinder it.
My advice/challenge/hope for you is that you stop fighting for that calling. Live. Be. Let the Spirit flow and you fill find yourself in the calling of the Lord through no work of your own.
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