So my social media fast is over! What an amazing week filled with unexpected joy. I went into this fast with many expectations of hearing answers from the Lord and obtaining more knowledge about scripture...quite the opposite happened. I had done a social media fast in the fall and spent countless hours reading the Bible, listening to sermons, and enjoying worship music. That fast was amazing and refreshing, and was what I needed at that point in my life. This time the Lord met me in a different way.
I have been learning the lesson of relaxing and just enjoying the Lord's presence and timing in my life. This lead to a week of no plans...starting with my birthday. God blessed me with a wonderful day! I barely made plans and somehow it worked out to where I got to see and spend time with people in my life whom I love dearly. The love shown to me by friends and family displayed how the Lord cares for me through people around me. He reminded me that I am His loved and cherished daughter.
During this fast I was constantly challenged to let go of my plans and to enjoy the spontaneous provision of the Lord. He seems to breaking some of my anxiety and control issues of having to make perfect plans...and to make sure they are carried out "correctly". While I did read and pray during this fast, I spent the majority of my time with friends and just enjoying God's creation.
My favorite night of the fast happened to be on July fourth. This day started out a little rough and work was stressful...but it ended with me feeling refreshed and overjoyed. I got to meet some friends on the sand dunes to watch fireworks and enjoy being outside (side note: the weather was perfect). I almost stayed at home that night due to a terrible mood...I'm so happy that I prayed and asked God to redeem the day/evening. That night I star gazed with a friend on her back porch overlooking the sound. The Lord's presence was very heavy. We listened to worship music and rested. At first I had a hard time letting my mind and thoughts cease, but my friend reminded me to enjoy the moment. After that conversation I could really let go. We saw so many shooting stars and I overall I felt refreshed and just excited to be there. While looking at the stars I thought about how beautiful they are. How there are so many of them closely together...and how they do nothing. They do nothing and are absolutely beautiful. They are called stars and that is all they are...it reminded me of being one of God's children. I get so caught up in going and doing and planning that I forget who I am, and what I'm called. I am called a child of the Lord. I didn't do anything to be called that..and I still do not have to work legalistically to obtain that name. As God's children we are beautiful because of Jesus. Because of Jesus we do not have to "do" anything to please or gain God's grace. It is freely provided and we can rest in it.
Even though I didn't spend the same amount of time and effort digging into scripture and sermons...the Lord spoke to me. He taught me that it is not all about knowledge. While obtaining more Biblical knowledge is wonderful, it is not the only element to a relationship with the Lord. Sometimes you just have to step back and let God love you. It felt wonderful to have a moment where I didn't feel like I had to be accomplishing something or coming up with a plan to change the many flaws I have.
2 Samuel 14:14, "All of us must die eventually. Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. But God does not just sweep life away; instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him." The Lord does not want to leave me in my brokenness....and through Jesus I am not defined by it. He is continuously drawing my eyes back towards Him.
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