tough jank.

Spent today with my mom and older sister on the beach :)  Pretty nice day all around, got some lunch and walked on the dunes!  I only felt a little sad because I was stressing about eating too much.  Even though I weighed this morning and I have only gained one pound since my lowest weight.  I have no clue why it's so mentally hard on me to talk myself into eating more.  I seriously need to work on this..and I hope that praying to God will help.  Reading again today James Smith talked about how there are two different perspectives of God.  He is either really angry and wants to condemn us all, or super loving and we can never upset him.  Having the right impression of God is a pretty tough challenge and one that we will never fully understand until we meet him in heaven :)  But he did a good job of explaining why God has to be harsh sometimes by saying, "Would a God who took as much pleasure in evil as he did in good be a good God?"  Of course the answer to this question is no!  I haven't finished the chapter yet but hopefully it will begin to become clearer to me.  The Good and Beautiful God is definitely worth reading :)